SANDEEPHISM

My favourite passtime involves me fantasizing about stuff i think i would like to do but in real life too timid to actually do it. To day is your lucky day! you are going to get a chance to peek into my fantasy world for a while.

    Today i saw a lady in my office wearing a burkha  on the top of her dress. Call it creepy coincidence, but today i also saw a sikh guy sporting a huge beard and a guy wearing overall blacks as he is in "ayyappa diksha".

   This is disturbing on many levels. 

Apparantly,not shaving ur beard is bad for the company and moral of the employees,but okay if your religion doesn't allow it. Similarly,wearing formal clothes is neccessary for professional environment,

but not if ur religion forbids it. Apparantly if our clients see this bearded guys and burkha women they will understand that they are simply following their religion. so no loss for company.

This is exactly the  kind of situation where my wicked mind will go gaga over various possibilities.

So i digged up some HR policy list in our company website and bingo! I found that Our company will give "Reasonable" exceptions to people regarding their dress code based on their religions.

There are two loose terms here. one is "reasonable" and another is, of course : "Religion" . I can to use them to my advantage. So i fantasized about talking my HR into giving me permsion to wear normal clothes and chappals to office. It will probably go like this:

Me: So, i understand that Our company is willing  to make reasonable exceptions to accomdate my religious beliefs.

HR : Yes, we do.

Me: kool. Because my religion doesn't allow me to wear shoes. god will make me rot in hell if i hide my feet from fellow human beings.

HR: (probably confused): I never heard of that before.  What religion is that??

Me: (casually): Oh, i don't have a name for it. but i am thinking along the lines of sandeephism.

do u like it??

HR: Are you saying that u founded ur own religion??

Me: yup,I don't see why i should follow other religions  which are thousands of year old and obviously outdated. My religion is kooler and trendier.

HR: (shocked)

Me: Of course, for now, its a lonely religion, but i am hoping to convince my parents and my brother to join it.

HR: Um, i am afraid we don't recognize...

Me: (angrily) What? Are you insulting my religion? Are you insulting my god's ways?? I am gonna complain to the regional HR head that you are showing discrimination against my religion..

HR: (aghast): But That rule in ur religion is wierd...

Me: Hey, if sikhs can believe that they are not supposed to display their hair, why can't i believe that i am not supposed to NOT display my feet?? Thats it. I am escalating it to....

HR: okay, okay, U may wear chappals to work.

Me: Good, now according to my religion, I am only supposed to wear round neck T shirts with funny captions.... 

   I hope you got the hang of what i was hoping to achieve here. But alas, I am too timid to actually go and talk to my HR, So i fantasize and write blog entries about it. But hey, thats cool too....

QUESTION: Assuming i convinced ur HR that followers of my religion need not wear shoes and ties and formals, will you convert to sandeephism and proclaim me as ur prophet??

 

THE BOY WHO LOVED SANTA CLAUS

I am glad to inform u all that my flawless strategy "Hoping for the best" worked well.The best thing about this strategy  is,nobody can argue what exactly is "best". so I win. Period.

    anywaz,today i will tell you a story. So grab a pack of chips and read on....

      somwhere in this world, there lived a boy.His name is irrelevent. He could be any one.

He is a small boy, just 6 or 7 years old. He loves his parents, he loves his dolls, and ofcourse, he loves Santa claus. Now, he got to know about santa when he was three years old. His parents told him about santa. He was excited. His parents told him that he can wish for anything  and on christmas eve, santa would brint it to him. But he has to be a good boy or else santa will get angry and will not bring any gifts.

     

         The boy is obviously enthralled with the idea. I mean come on.... A fatold man with a long beard, riding on a cart of mules,landing on rooftops, sneaking presents beside children's beds,who wouldn't love that kind of idea?

     

      So, our boy got what he wanted for that christmas, and he couldn't thank santa enough! Next year, he asked for a fancy bycycle. But he didn't get it. He got a modest bicycle instead. The boy was very upset. Why wouldn't santa give me what i wanted? Am i not good enough?? didn't i behave well?? His parents tried to pacify him. 

  "son!" they said, "Santa knows  what is best for you.What ever is his decision, you have to accept it. It is for your own good only"

"Remember,Honey! If he gives what u asked for, he loves you.

                                    If he didn't ,he will give you something better eventually"

     The boy was convinced with his parents' pep talk. Of course, santa knows the best! He loves me! but for some reason, he decided that i dont need that bicycle. With this logic, he answered him self.

   Two or three years passed. One day our boy is playing with another boy. In between conversation, they began to talk about Santa. Then to our boys astonishment, the other boy said

"But ofcourse, Santa is not real,dude"

     Our boy was shocked. I mean, what kind of talk is that! thats blasphemy ! He will rott in hell. He is not going to get any presents this christmas, The joke is on him. HA!

       Then that boy said,"Of course, I too thought he was real upto some time. But then i realised, Its my parents who sneak up to my bed and and put all my presents there. Its not santa. So i don't believe in santa anymore. If i want something, i will ask my parents directly."

  Our boy ran to his parents crying .He told them everything he heard from that wicked friend of his.

   

     *********************************************************

 OK. Story over. Now a lets analyse is a bit. The above story can happen anywhere. Upto this point. But In the climax, When the boy  cried what if the parents never told him the truth? they advised the little boy to stay away from that blasphemous  kid?? What if for some reason, if every parent behaves in that way and every kid continued to believe in santa???  What if they all grow up still believing in santa?? 

       

        Instead of asking for a bike, they ask him for good grades in exams or a nice girl friend. And when their wish got fulfilled they thank him and trust him more. If its not fulfilled,they know its for their own good. After all, santa knows the best. and...

   Wait a minute. Wait a minute.. Is it just me or is this situation sounding reaalllly familiar??

To me, this santa guy seems familiar. YES! i know him. People call him "GOD"!

   OK. No kidding. I will come straight to the point. Aren't people a bit like the boy in the story, believing in a compassionate almighty looking after them,listening to their wishes,aspirations and granting them. I agree. Its a good feeling to believe that some one is looing after us. But It takes a lot of courage to come to terms with the fact that there is no one out there. You are your own master. You have to look after youself. Thats why i admire atheists. About the people who believe in god, I am not saying i dont respect them. but, Well, they look like kids who believe in santa to me. They may feel  a lot better, but they need to grow up!

P.S: To all those people who are in middle with the talk of  "You can't disprove god either", you dont have to prove that something doesn't exist. Its the responsibility of people who believe that the thing exists to prove that the thing really exists. going by your stupid logic, you cant prove that there is no monster hiding under your bed either!

CAT CALLS!

To all those people who are driving me crazy with their requests,demands,beggings for a new post,here is the good news. I am back! Now there will meaning for your life again, you will be able to love others, blah blah... ( u get the general idea,right?)

    Ok. Where have i been? 

Only a stupid will answer that question like " Just like that. ran out of ideas" or " i am too lazy to write."

 

An average guy's answer will be along the lines of "Been too busy with work"

I will do you a favour and let you know the ultimate answer. its " Nothing excited me enough to 

write". its short. its smart. It shifts blame from u.  Feel free to use it.

You are welcome!

Oh! My answer??

You guys won't leave, will ya?

Ok. I hate to brag,but i 've been preparing an flawless strategy to crack the CAT.

I call it "Hoping for the best".

i know, i know it just sounds like unwarranted optimism. but i dont have a thousand option here.

My strategy is based on the following assupmtions:

Losers toil like hell designing the strategy.

Managers  do what ever they felt like doing and call it a strategy!

Sounds like i am a born manager. 

And thats why i am writing CAT this year.