Avatar - The story of US

Day before yesterday:

Project submissions, Power point presentations,looming end terms,freezing cold,nothing stopped us from catching Avatar a day before its release, oh wait, except the theatre it self!

We thought we were the luckiest people on earth when we were told exactly 6 tickets were left for the show, miraculously in the back rows, in a continuous stretch! We settled in our seats,wore the 3D glasses and prepared ourselves for the experience of our life time. The movie started, we kept waiting for the 3D effects, but none came.soon it became apparent to me that we were watching a 2D movie,not a 3D. Somebody confronted with the manager and he confessed that there was a technical difficulty with the 3D version and they are running the 2D version now.

But even that version ran into glitches, so they are cancelling the show.

Hold on for a moment and grasp this. He actually distributed 3D glasses to audience,ran a 2D movie and hoped that no one will notice the difference.I mean, I am a huge believer of "Wishing reaaallllly haard" concept, but frankly, this is taking the concept to ridiculous levels.

So we got the money back and came back to IMT, marveling at the peanut brain of manager of Big cinemas.

Yesterday:

The watch is displaying the time 13:10. I was rolling lazily in my blanket contemplating whether lunch is worthy of getting out of bed(yeah, thats how i roll). I got a call from a friend. They are planning a second attack on the movie. This time there was no question of which is a better choice. We were in the hall by 13:50.

Okay, Mr. cameron. Mesmerize me!

And he did. For 160 minutes. When i read RGV's praise about the movie, i was suspicious, but he nailed it when he said cameron's world is more beautiful than the God's. But its pretty much redundant to talk about the technical brilliance of the movie. Unless you are in the Big boss house, you must have heard about it. What appealed to me is the brilliance of the story.

We have seen countless movies in where little green aliens come to earth because their planet is over populated or they need earth's resources. We have seen how earthlings manage to beat them and rooted for earth. Cameron just reversed the situation and made US the aliens!

Thinking from another perspective, this story is not so much lifted from science fiction as from history books. One thought that lingered in mind through out the movie was: This must be what happened when the English set foot in U.S ,or India for that fact. They came, they promised development, they taught us English, they thought they are making us civilized people, but ultimately all they wanted was our resources. All cameron did was to Change the setting from country level to Planetary level!

You see,from both the perspectives,Avatar is a story of US. And thats where lies its brilliance. People who say that the emotional quotient is not so great as Titanic, i can't disagree more. It poses many questions and makes us think about our actions,albeit undercurrently.Behind all the motion capture techniques,big explosions,and the dazzlingly beautiful effects, this is a film with a heart!

Today:

Just booked a ticket for the 3D version of the movie. Enough pondering over the story. Time to drool over the effects!

P.S: When the characters talk about each tree in pandora linked to another and the implications of those connections, i couldn't help but wonder: this concept of collective consciousness is knocking on my door wherever i go,in books, in films, in news paper articles. And each time, its getting more convincing....

GAY MOON

One of my many weird hobbies is to search the net for pathetically dumb movies and read their reviews. Because, you know, few things give me more pleasure than watching other people going down. The very idea that hundreds of people worked for months to create that sh*t gives me a high. In my minds eye, while i read those reviews,I go all MUHAHAHAHA in the faces of the crew.

Yes, i am Evil.

So, I was very eagerly waiting for the movie which i was sure is gonna satiate my psychotic appetite:THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON.

And it didn't disappoint me. Reviews unanimously panned it."The best worst movie ever!" said one. "The most atrocious,awkward and embarrassing movie of the year!" proclaimed another "Today, I realised that our generation will be remembered as people who loved sparkly vampires.FML" is a recent FML at fmylife.com.(On a related note, you should check that website. It increases your will to live in this creepy world). But the best of them is this article i read in times of India. The success of this franchise is nothing short of global crisis.

BUT...how do i know this is gonna be a disaster??

I have a secret... * imagine akshay in Tasvir *

I've read twilight!

There... I've said it. My popularity index will be taking a nosedive.... from zero to negatives!

In my defense, i have been conned by a female friend of mine, who said it was irresistible, and she finished the whole book in one go,skipping lunch and dinner.

"Wow..." I thought! "Must be good...."

Let me put it this way. It is beyond my comprehension how anybody with a strand of Y chromosome or an ounce of testosterone in their body can remotely like this book(or movie)!

Full of Cheesy romance, Corny dialog and paper board characters, this movie is a classic gay index. I mean, "I love twilight" can be a clandestine code word for gays. It may probably work like this:

Gay guy: (walks up to another guy) I love Twilight!

Other guy:(Cringes on hearing the name) Duuuuuuuuuuuude! Wats wrong with you??

Gay guy: kbye!

OR

Gay guy: (Walks up to another guy) So i was watching Twilight the other day....

other guy: Ohmygod.... I ABSOLUTELY love it!

Gay guy: Score!

It can be used to lessen the impact when you are coming out of closet infront of your family.

Mom,dad! I need something to tell you. I am..... I am a Twilight fan!

Parents: *GAASP!* * horror!*

And, guys, you can thank me for giving this fantastic advice, You can use Twilight as the ultimate break up tool.

So....Sweetums! I have booked tickets for the new Twilight movie on first day,first show.Later we can rent "Mamma Mia" home and have a blast! *

You dont need to break up with her, SHE will break up with you, and you can act all used up and

deceived, tell this story (omitting the twilight part, ofcourse) to another chick, Score again!

* Again,based on a true FML

To conclude:

If you are a guy, There, I just saved two hours of your life. Go watch some buildings blow up and bad guys get their ass kicked by bruce willis instead!

If you are a girl, You might probably hate me for being such an gender stereoptypic person. But let us be honest here, The odds of you chiggy-wiggying with me are nanoscopical, So allow me to quote Rhett butler and say :

"Frankly, dear, I don't give a damn!"

Of Nicholas Cage,Dan Brown and Scott Adams

One dependable way i use to determine how much i enjoyed a book/movie is to observe the amount of time i spent contemplating about the same after reading/watching it. In that way, i had a double bonanza yester day. I saw Nicolas Cage's latest - KNOWING and Dan brown's much anticipated thriller - THE LOST SYMBOL.

Both of them surprised me because they dealt with the themes i am already familar with, thanks to this impossibly witty and visionary cartoonist: Scott Adams.

The movie started off interestingly. It had a spooky feel to it. But after the first 70 minutes or so, it lost me. It became just another dooms day story. "What a waste!" I thought until i saw the last shot of the movie. While the earth is destroyed by a catastrophe, few children are rescued from all over the world by some mysterious people; call them aliens or angels. And in the last shot, we see two of the kids being dropped off on a distant planet and them running towards a huge lonely tree: unmistakabley refering to the tree of knowledge from the Genesis.

Now, Scott adams already discussed this idea in many of his blogposts. What if this apocalypse already happened? What if Adam and Eve or people from just another earth like planet who seek refuge on ours? What if the so-called Gods are just a highly advanced alien race?? The possiblities are endless!

Coming to the book, i must say i am a fan of Dan Brown. I can't argue with the critics when they dismiss his work as "Popular and pulp fiction". But his books are infinitely better than other writers of pulp genre- Sheldon,Hailey,Grishm and likes. What i find appealing about his books is his meticulous research into the subject he had chosen and the questions the books pose to us and allows us to contemplate. From that perspective, Lost symbol Scores high. But It is not as gripping as Angels and Demons or not as controversial as Davinci Code. No where near!What i liked most in the book are the last fifteen odd pages after the whole mystery is solved; where the lead characters discuss god,faith,religion and science.

And surprisingly, scott striked me again while reading the book.One of the main themes of the book "Collective conciousness" is already dealt by him few years ago. Actually a paragraph in the book which tells us that " in the age of twitter,facebook and essentially internet, which gives all the people over the internet the opportunity to seamlessly connect with eachother, the one-ness that forms out of the individuals can be treated as GOD " is just a paraphrase of one of his blog posts. Another thing the book discusses is the field of Neotic science: The science that studies the power of human thought. The idea is that if enough people believes in something with enough conviction , it WILL happen. And when scott adams talked about affirmations, i thought he was nuts!

Anyway, The book and the movie made me think a lot of about god and spirituality yesterday. I did something i never thought i would do in my life. I visited the spiritual section of our IMT library!

The ZooZoos of Virgin

Its ironic how the punchline of an ad can be a direct negation of what the ad is doing. That is Virgin mobile for you. With the tagline saying "Think Hatke" (Think differently),It made a series of ads which are uncannily similar to the Vodafone's famous ZooZoo campaign.

You might have seen some of these in Television.

Both may look alike, but they are poles apart in terms of quality and content.

The ZooZoos are cute and the ambience is easy on the eye. Here the characters are irritating and ugly! I hate them...

The Jokes are so stale, you will wonder what the hell were the creators smoking when they made these...

The ZooZoo ads promote the Value Added Services of Vodafone, and they do it in a subtle way. Each ad represents a different feature of Vodafone. It is more challenging.

Virigin mobile has only one feature to advertise: Free local calls. And yet they have managed to bungle up the campaign!

Finally all i am gonna say is - Mr. Bronson! Stop crusing in your obscenely rich yacht and take care of your company in India! And yes, please live upto your tagline!!

FUNERAL BLUES

I am not a big fan of poetry. I am a simple man with a vanilla mind. The complex thoughts and eeriely constructed stanzas of the poems blow the fuses of my brain and make me dizzy. So i generally stay away from them.

But there is one poem i absolutely love. I stumbled upon it by sheer luck. It was recited in a scene of huge grant's classic romcom "Four Weddings and A Funeral" ( This film is a must watch by the way. Download it illegally as soon as possible!!) . The Poem is "Funeral Blues" written by W.H. Auden.

I don't know why this poem struck chord with me. When i heard it, i lost track of the movie for some time and kept thinking about it.

Here is how it goes.....

Stop all the clocks, Cut off the Telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pions and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let airoplanes cirlce moaning overhead,

scribbling on the sky the message he is dead.

Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my north, my south, my east and my West,

My working Day and my Sunday rest.

My noon, my midnight, my talk,my song;

I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; Put out every one,

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.