SEVERUS JUDAS??

Do you know who Judas is?? If you don't, read here...

In case you are a lazy idiot like me, Here is th gist:

Judas was one of the 12 apostles of Jesus Christ. He is famously known for his betrayal of Jesus into the hands of Roman authorities.

Gospel of Mark says that the authorities were looking for a sly way to capture Jesus.And Judas agreed to help them for 30 pieces of silver( A man of small pleasures, i must say!). He identified Jesus in the prescence of the roman soldiers by kissing him on the neck. And "The kiss of Judas" became an idiom in english which symbolizes betrayal.

But a recently found gospel, called as gospel of Judas has something different to say. It claims that whatever happened on that fateful night is a planned arrangement between Jesus and Judas. It says that Jesus decided that it was time for him to go, and asked Judas for help. And Judas agreed to it unwillingly.

According to gospel of Mark, Jesus on seeing Judas approaching with roman soldiers, responded by saying, "Friend, Do what you have to do..."



In case, you are feeling vaguely familiar with above scene and wondering why, Don't worry. I will say one word and see if you can put the pieces together : "SEVERUS SNAPE"




All the Harry Potter Fans, Doesn't the character of Severus Snape seem to be modelled after Judas?? Just look at the similarities. Put Dumbledore in the place of Jesus, and snape in the place of Judas, and you have the climax of half blood prince! And compare the lines Jesus had spoken with Dumbledore's last words... (Severus.... Please....).

I wonder if JK Rowling lifted this particular part from the
Judas-Jesus saga...

P.S: In case you are a unsuspecting harry potter fan who stumbled upon this blog before reading the final book, all i can say to you is.......

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

By the way, Did i mention that i am Evil..???

IMT DIARY

Its been exactly one month since i entered this college. Can't believe how fast life goes here...You grumpily wake up on monday morning wishing it was sunday... and viola! Its saturday nite!! So many things happening at the same time, U wish u have more than two hands or more than one brain or more than 24 hours or all of them. Here are some snippets from my IMT diary..

Orientation:

The sole pupose of first week of orientation is to torture the juniors and scare the S**t out of them. The day starts at 5'0 clock in the morning and ends at,um... 5'0 clock in the morning. Believe it or not, Juniors are not allowed to sleep for the first week. If we managed to get a nap for 2 hours, we used to consider ourselves lucky!! Add to this sleep deprivedness, ragging sessions from midnight to 5'o clock. Yes. Like organized crime, we have organized ragging here. At a particular time, at a particular place. A strict instructions of what to do and what not to do!!

Cultural nite:

A celebration of ending of orientation week. This is usually where the life-of-the-party guys exhibit their talents while pathetic dorks stand in an obscure corner and silently watch. Of course, some of those pathetic dorks blog about the event one month later.... That's a different issue.

Classes,clubs and commitees:

After orientation week, the class schedule feels like a holiday. What only 6 hours of academic sessions... cool.

But interviews for various clubs and commitees will wear one out. One will get used to the idea of waking in nights and sleeping in classes.

Before you know, its quiz time. People start studyin like crazy. The library is full of people at 1'o clock on a sunday nite. I wanted to shout,"Its saturday night for christ's sake! Get a life!!"

Library:

A bit about library here. This is the place where i feel home. Being the dork i am, I spend most of my time here, usually taking a book with me and sinking into one of those comfortable sofas.

Goonda Nite:

The screening of mithun charkaborty starrer "Goonda". Without doubt, my best nite in IMT.

To state that Goonda is a milestone in history of Indian cinema is an understatement.I have wasted 10 years of my life by not watching it. ( it got released in 1998). With dialogues being sheer poety, not to mention the award winning action by the people who delivered them, Its an life time experience. When was the last time some one died on the screen and you were rolling down with laughter?? Sample this dialogue...

"Behnaa!! Tu margayi?? Lambu ne tujhe lamba kardiyaaa???"

And i can't resist adding some more gems of dialogues from the film...

"Mera naam hai Bulla! Hamesha rakhtaa hoon khullaa!!"

"Maa meri chudail ki beti. Baap mera shaitan ka chela. Khaayegaa kelaa??"

To Sum up, If you know hindi and didn't watch this movie, You will rot in hell!!!

Salsa Class:

We have to come up with a venture as part of a cometition and we arranged a salsa class for the college. (Got the irony of it??).Yester day was heavy work for me, running around the campus all day...By the end of the prograam, every muscle in my body was aching.

So, Thats the story of one month. Still 20 odd to go. For now, i am very tired. Yesterday's hang over! So allow me to shut my lappy down to catch some sleep. Nite nite!!

P.S:

One of my class mates asked me, "hey! Why were you not dancing??"

My first instinct was to tell her the truth. That no female species in the college agreed to stand anywhere nearer than 3 feet to me. But i wisely decided that it won't be good PR for me. So i put up my best -frustrated face and said that since i am organizing the whole event, i was not allowed to participate. I gave the impression that i would have burnt the dance floor given a chance. I don't know if she actually bought it or not. i just hope she didn't saw my adventure with paper dance....

FUNERAL BLUES

I am not a big fan of poetry. I am a simple man with a vanilla mind. The complex thoughts and eeriely constructed stanzas of the poems blow the fuses of my brain and make me dizzy. So i generally stay away from them.

But there is one poem i absolutely love. I stumbled upon it by sheer luck. It was recited in a scene of huge grant's classic romcom "Four Weddings and A Funeral" ( This film is a must watch by the way. Download it illegally as soon as possible!!) . The Poem is "Funeral Blues" written by W.H. Auden.

I don't know why this poem struck chord with me. When i heard it, i lost track of the movie for some time and kept thinking about it.

Here is how it goes.....

Stop all the clocks, Cut off the Telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pions and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let airoplanes cirlce moaning overhead,

scribbling on the sky the message he is dead.

Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my north, my south, my east and my West,

My working Day and my Sunday rest.

My noon, my midnight, my talk,my song;

I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; Put out every one,

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

My Revolutionary Business Idea

Check out this story in TOI..... Men prefer videogames to sex!!

I always thought that videogames are a strong contender,if nothing less. But apparantly, men all over the world (atleast one third of them) thought, "to hell with the women. Its not worth it!!". What pushed them over the edge?

Who cares? Did you think of the implications of all this? One third of Mankind out of race... it increases my odds of having sex by 33%! theoratically,anyway!!

(for practical purposes, the odds are one in a gazillion, as you can guess!)

But the MBA in me is excited for a different reason. This research is a perfect opportunity for video game makers. Video games and sex, The close contenders for the attention of male species. Now all they have to do is to make a video game about having sex! Bang!!!! It will be a phenomena...

The details of the game i leave to your wicked imagination. But i have already planned a marketing strategy. This game will be sold with other bloody-crazy-mass killing-macho videogames as a combo. So after a heavy blood thirsty session of Counter strike, you can have a refreshing wham-bam session with video game version of a celebrity and resume your killing spree. I haven't zeroed in on the celebrity figure yet, but i have a lot of options in that area...

Needless to say the game will be released in both straight version and gay version.

Depending upon the popularity this game gains, (and it will gain popularity) we can enter into joint venture with this macho action games and integrate both concepts. The means, stage one, you kill 200 bad men, and in stage two, you get to seduce their leader's girlfriend.....

Now, I will get busy preparing a business case of this idea and start looking for venture capitalists. But not before i give you a glimpse of my future enterprise's vision statement!

"My company's vision is to make this bedroom conversation a common affair:

"Darling, We are getting late for the movie!!"

" two minutes honey! right now i am busy shagging Megon fox...!!" "

Today i reached new heights of pervertedness, didn't i???

Calvin said it...

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Calvin: You can't turn on creativity like a faucet!! You have to feel a specific emotion to start working..

Hobbes: What emotion exactly are we talking about??

Calvin: Last minute panic!!

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Less than 12 hours left to submit a 5000 word assignment ( which is no less than a thesis,btw) and Here i am, blissfully passing my time blogging about it! a living proof of the above statement.

If you ask me, cartoonists are the best philosophers in the world!!!

HONKY PONKY PONKS!

The other day, I was watching Maniratnam's 'Dil se' when i came across this interesting piece of conversation between Preity and Sharukh.

Preity: So, Are you a virgin??
Sharukh: (chokes on the burger he was eating) um...
Preity: You needn't tell me. I just wanted to see the expression on your face.
Sharukh: What will you say if i ask you the same question ?
Preity: YOu know, 80% of the girls,before marriage, honky ponky ponks! You understand,right?
Sharukh: (thoughtful) So, you are not among them??

Here is when the scene gets interesting!

Preity: (making a guilty face) haa! What do i do?? I didn't have courage to... honky ponky ponks!
Sharukh: (laughing) So, no honky ponky ponks!!

I liked this scene for many reasons.The refreshing way an arranged marriage is portrayed,The way they openly discuss pre marital sex(though they use stupid euphemism!), and the balance Maniratnam achieved!

Now,Many of the audience wouldn't digest the fact that herione wasn't a virgin.It's outrageous!!By making her confess she was infact a virgin, Maniratnam actually satisfies the ego of conservative section of audiences.

But observe the expression of preity when she was saying she was a virgin. She was almost apolegetic about it. And she clearly states that it was lack of courage (the implied message being that moral bullshit has nothing to do with it). Thus, he appeals to the liberal section of the audience at the same time!

Everybody sees what they want to see. Everybody is happy! A master stroke,indeed!