CHENNAI REDEMPTION

  I vividly remember my first day in chennai. I landed up here for my first job with hopes in my heart and dreams in my eyes. (could I BE more corny???). I sort of imagined myself as some kinda code-king, who is gonna rock the software kingdom. After three months of bench, I was down to earth.But Then suddenly my life turned upside down. My project was a disaster. I sucked on so many levels. I was half confident that I became mentally retarded.

  If my professional life was in dumps,my personal life was in Mariana Trench! I lost my people skills. I isolated myself from all my friends.I stopped talking to people. I became an SCP. Chennai was indeed a rude shock for me. During those days, I fantasised about getting out of this city and getting a life....

   Now that dream came true.Here i am, Its half past twelve,My last day in chennai has just began. When I pictured this moment many times in my mind, everytime i saw myself jumping out with joy that i am finally outta this hell-hole. But in reality, I am more sombre. Not that i am glad, but i am equally sad. Am i a victim to some mutated version of stockholm syndrome??

  Although I hated Chennai vehemently, there are some things i am gonna miss about this city(in no particualar order of importance):

 My Beach- The biggest consolation for me during my stay.

 My Gang-  I remember ranting  in some previous post that i didn't had a gang. Well, i kinda have! After the debacle called my engineering life, I gotta really friendly colleagues whom i  really gonna miss. They almost made me reconsider my decision!!!

 My Room mate - I know how tough it  is to bear me. And i know i couldn't have achieved my CAT percentile without his support, and his material ;-)

 My Friend- If its not only for Charan, My life would have become a classic dilbert. He was my only friend out of my work. And I am glad he is my friend. Can't thank him enough!!!

Landmark - This was a temple for me.I can't calculate how many hours i spent in this bookshop reading away books for free!!

FM - Yes sir, FM radio.I love tamil songs!

  So why am i sombre? Its a mixture of all the above reasons and ofcourse,the fear of unknown. I am stepping out of my comfort zone and i don't know how my tomorrow is going to be.But i've started hoping again. I've started living again. Two years in chennai life made me a stronger person. I guess i've to thank Chennai for that.

Some more Free Range

Here are some more classics from my new favourite - Free Range. 

I've given some hints to make it simpler.

A date with frankenstein:

The age old "Dog ate my homework" excuse... Reloaded!

   

   A dig on the idiom - Running with scissors

        

  Come on! This one is a sitter!

ly 

This is your ultimate test! You've to do some research  and use some imagination to understand actually what is happening in the cartoon.... Try decoding!

A Laughing Matter

 

The thing with comic strips is, they make you smile. Well, some of them make u scratch ur head too. but the point i am trying to convey is that the most usual response u get after reading a comic strip is NOT a laugh, just an amused smile.

  But, now and then you see some comics and u burst out into a laughter. May be not a hysterical laughter; but it certainly is bigger than a smile. I encountered one few days ago...

 After reading 10950 Garfield comic strips,7300 dilbert strips,2555 Calvin and hobbes strips and 18250 Peanuts strips, i think i know a thing or two about comics.  The best of the cartoons are produced when the cartoonists take an everyday situation or sight, tweak them bigtime in their head and create the strip. The above strip precisely falls into this caterogy.

  In case you liked the strip and wondering where you can read more,Its a daily comic strip called "Free Range" created by Bill Whitehead. You can check his other strips here....

But let me warn you. Apparantly he doesn't believe in spoon feeding! Most of his cartoons are full of contemporary cultural references: Like this....

                                              

If you dont know  about what he is making fun of, chances are that  u end up scratching your head!

Try this one

                                     

  As Scott Adams once said, when a cartoon puzzles u for a moment and then unravels itself before u in all its glory, its a a bull's eye! You enjoy it more because you feel like you solved a riddle. Its that brief moment of puzzlement that does wonders. But if that brief moment stretches into a long one, The cartoon is a goner! High risk, high returns!

   And whitehead seems to be following this policy,risks not withstanding. Do check if his other ones if u feel confident that u can break the code! Bcoz , these cartoons are not for dummies!

Confessions of a Male brain!

Today, a (lady)colleague asked me out of blue:"What are you thinking right now?"

I was cornered. I panicked. I didn't know what to say... So i did what i do best: I cracked a stupid joke and diverted her attention. Phew!!

 If u are a guy, U will understand my concern.If you are a girl,  you are probably wondering what the heck this panicking is all about.

Let me give an useful advice to all the girls out there:

Never ever ask a guy what he was thinking. Believe me,U dont want to know!

Well,if u insist,Let us just say that nine out of ten times,We will be thinking about things which we wouldn't be willing to share with our mothers (or female colleagues).

E.g:               I wonder if that hot girl i saw this morning has a boy friend...

                         

                                                             OR

                         Gotta catch the first show of darling Namita's next film!

IMP NOTE: I've deliberatley given the examples which are somewhat 'U' rated and mentionable.Please be warned that 80% of the thoughts are, well.... unmentionable.      

I might pass off as a pervert for coming out of closet and saying this,but believe me,Every guy thinks the same! So u better make peace with that fact!!

P.S: If u honestly believe that ur boyfriend/lover/husband/brother doesn't think that way, my hearty condolences to you.

OFF TOPIC:

  Owing to some ideological differences with my dhobi, I washed my clothes all by myself after nearly 10 months and ready to dry them. And Whola!,It is raining cats and dogs in Chennai,In Mid May! 

  I guess Universe has its own unique way of saying-"BUWAHAHAHAA! DIE LOSER,DIE!DIE!DIE!DIE!"

@ MOVIES....

An amazing thing happened to me at movies yesterday. 

Just when i was ready to immerse myself in the movie, i felt a familiar scent beside me. It was scent of a woman. Excuse me, a HOT woman , sitting beside me. Gosh! Why do i keep running into them wherever i go?? I go on a train, they are beside me, i get into a bus,they come and sit beside me,I sit in the  beach,they come and trip into my lap.Can't a Hot single Macho guy live in peace in this city????

   But this time,i wasn't feeling that bitter. After all, the hotness quotient of this chick beside me 

is VERY HIGH! Also the fact that her outfit can give Mallika Sherawat a run for her money helped!  

   As you all know, I am a decent guy.I am not the type of guy who will be caught with his hand in contraversial places;especially if those places belongs to hot girls. So i was minding my own business, and much to my chagrin,i felt the  hot girl rubbing her knee against Mine. 

   The fact that she is flirting with me didn't annoy me. I mean, who can blame them, poor things! But why play around? If she finds me irresistably attractive, she could have directly said so, right??

 Hmm,I wanted to tease her a little and feigned like i didn't observe. She was visibly upset.After 

sometime, she made her next move.

 "The film is boring,isn't it??" She whispered.

Now we are talking! (pun,intended.or may be not! whatever)

I turned towards her,said in my natural husky voice"In some parts,yeah".

"there isn't much romance in the film" she said,her eyes are inviting....

"Just as well, i get enough  romance from  my real life" i replied.

"I can tell that from your looks" She is deep into the game.

"You aren't doing too bad either" i smiled one of my enchanting smiles. I can almost see her melting.

"You would say a lot more than that if you  see me properly" We were practically whispering in each other's ears. We didn't want to disturb the other 5 or 6 people in the hall.

"I would be willing to take that challenge"

"Lets get out of here" she was suddenly anxious, by anticipation i guess.

"Sure, honey.Let me get my bike, does fisherman's cove work for you??" I was at my charming best.

"Name doesnt matter. Just a place,thats all" boy,she IS  in a hurry!

We left the hall, I started my byk and ......................

HA! WHO AM I KIDDING???

Yes, i went to the movies. Here is the actual scene:

 

To the left of me was an octogenarian who kept coughing throughout the movie and rendered half of the dialouges inaudible.

To the right of me were two tamil guys, who didn't understand the telugu movie anyway, So kept chatting with eachother.It goes without saying that they didn't exactly spoke in low decibel levels.

In the front row was a family with a four year old kid, who kept asking his parents every five minutes,

"what's happening"

"what's the boy saying?"

"what's the boy doing to the girl?"

In the back row,there were some idiots who kept whistling even at the sight of a saree,  skirt   and everything faminine. I am half expecting that they were touching themselves in the romantic scenes.

As Calvin once lamented,"REALITY CONTINUES TO RUIN MY LIFE!" 

It's a crazy world!

The thing with internet is you never know  what you would stumble upon when you are casually surfing. You might  google for "Penelope cruz+nude+images" ,going from link to link might end up reading an interesting article on Parallel universes. And sometimes it can happen the other way too.... Like today!

    I have seen wildest and weirdest websites,but this one is a killer. I couldn't believe my eyes!

Words are failing me when i try to  describe what  this website  is about. See for yourself

          And don't forget to tell me what your first reaction is....

Random Ramblings

I love this feeling. Doing something and realising that this may be last time i would be doing it!

Today i realised that this is My last full moon day In chennai. So what did i do? Ofcourse, i hit the beach!

  Beach is more fun if U are there at night 12'o clock.

  If u have a bike

  Even if u've room mate who has a bike!

  A 5 KM Ride along the Beach on byke, in full moon light.courtesy - Afroz. Thanks yaar, and i wish u bought this byke a year ago!!!

  People playing cricket in floodlights.What a sight! Whenever i see these things, i wish i had a Gang like that. All my life, i was kinda a loner....

  Sitting in the sand, watching them play, i had a brief connection with chennai. May be it was not that much a bad place to live at all, all my misery during my stay in chennai,may be it is in my head!

 I am spending most of my time in office. Can u believe it?

Well, i enjoyed the company of few people over there, and i want to spend as much time with them as possible before i leave.

 Another two weeks, and i would be bidding goodbye to chennai, forever i hope!

Boyfriend Vs Lover

The other day, i was chitchating with a friend over phone(other day = eons ago) and the topic turned to love.

  "Say, how is ur boyfriend?" I asked casually...

 She was silent for few seconds.Then she said,"Don't say 'boyfriend',He is my lover!"

    I was bewildered.

  "They mean same thing,don't they??"

  "No...boyfriend sounds ....wrong!"

I didn't understand  and persisted that she elaborate. And she did.

  " Well... if i say he is my boyfriend, It sounds somewhat frivolous- like it is just a fling! but if i say he is my lover,it feels pure,honest!"

 This logic may sound strange first,but the more i thought about it,the more it made sense to me.

Personally for me, saying that X is my girlfriend sounds much cooler than saying that X is my lover.

And the least attractive than both is saying that X is my wife.... If u are a guy, imagine it in ur head, u will understand. if you are a girl, how about giving  me your phone number, I am single!

 To sum up,this is what we have learned: arranged in decreasing order of kewlness-

   Girlfriend

   Lover

   Wife - (NOT KEWL AT ALL!!!)

 Can u spot the pattern? It is also increasing order of ,Um.... Seriousness in the relationship. 

 Thats why girls prefer to call their boyfriends as lovers and boys prefer to call their lovers as girlfriends. coz the former push for commitment and the later always are terrified about it!

For girls, the diagram looks this way.

   boy friend (Prey)

  

   Lover

   Husband (Hmm.... commitment!)

 Am i genius or what!!!

Advise for guys: The next time your GF refers you as "lover" instead of "bf",thats the warning sign. Run like ur ass is on fire, or else u are committed! You are inches away from becoming "Hubby"!!

P.s:(completely unrelated to the topic)

 The distance between the spot where  our office bus stops and the Air conditioned comfort of our office is a meagre ten feet. Apparantly, some girls are too delicate to walk in the sun that much distance without protection of Umbrella,as i witnessed today!

  People ask me why i keep ridiculing women in my posts, and i don't have any answers.....