MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

You know what? Expectations hurt!

When i say I am Doing MBA in Delhi, My friends think i am a 'Kewl' guy. They greet me with the question " How many girl friends till now??" everytime i talk to them. They seem to have this impression that girls in B-school are waiting in queues to become GFs of nerdy boys!If you are one of them, I've news for you,fella!

Girls.... Not easy!!!

But Surely i can't tell them the answer that i am a dork and never talked to a single girl (or a single girl never talked to me) in the college. So i am planning to play along by fabricating stories of Wild romances and one night stands. I am pretty creative in that aspect. I will store random numbers in my phone and swell up my contact list.

But as the cliche goes, Hope springs eternal. When i heard about the freshers' party that was going to be held,I spent one whole evening fantasizing about coochi - cooying with hot babes of the college(I guess that explains my Midterm marks!). I am tired of my nerdiness and decided to hit on every girl in the college in freshers' party. I know its pathetic, but I will borrow chandler bing's line from one episode of f.r.i.e.d.s and say "I am needy and awkward and desperate for love!". And desperate guys call for desperate measures!

So i spent many days strategizing my advances. I carefully picked up one liners from the vast ocean of internet, I made up some amazing anecdotes that never happened in my life. And in case any other despo tried to steal my girl, i am ready with some witty retarts which will make him look like a freaking retard! I am ready to arrive on the scene, baby!

The D-day has come. With a million hopes and thousand fantasies playing in my mind, i entered the venue and kind of crushed to the core looking at the arrangements. It invoked the worst fears hidden in me, but i controlled myself and approached one of the organizers.

"Umm.... What's happening here?"

He stared at me like i was an idiot and replied,"Party"

"Yeah. I know that. I mean,whats with the DJ and all the swingling lights.Its not like we are going to dance or anything!" i spoke the last phrase slowly,"Are we??"

"Of course! We are... Thats the whole party of having a party. We dance until our legs ache and our heads spin!"

There you go!

But my legs are spinning and my head is aching now!

This can't be happening. No, the universe can't hate me this much. Party means food and talk. Not dancing! Atleast, not in my graduation days!

And so the "Party" started. I dejectedly went to a corner and sat like a rock for hours. In front of my eyes, life-of-the-party guys are having the time of their lives, demonstrating their skills and wooing girls. Everybody is in a world of their own. I wondered if anybody will notice if i died there and composted into a fossil.

After gulping down a few drinks, I felt a sudden surge of confidence that has nothing to do with my drinking ( how could it be? I drank orange juice!). If it takes dancing to woo a girl, i am gonna dance! the fact that the last time i danced was a disaster of cosmic scale didn't deter me.

I unleashed the animal inside me and let those instincts guide me. My strategy is to sneak up upon an unsuspecting (dancing) prey and become her partner,before she knew what was happening. So i picked up my target and applied my strategy. Sadly, the prey didn't find it amusing. She used a different choice of words, but she advised me to Go and gratify myself sexually.

Well,to be perfectly honest, more than one girl might have said that. But i am not sure about the figure. So i changed the strategy. I picked up a group of girls and guys dancing together and approached them surreptiously. Using my pathetic dancing skills, I managed to trip all the guys within the five metre radius. In management jargon, I leveraged my weakness and turned into my strength. Stephen covey would have felt proud of me.

Disgusted by my "dancing", one by one started slipping out of the group to join a new one.

My plan is working perfectly,but here i lost my direction. Believe it or not, I started enjoying my little tryst with dancing. Don't get me wrong, I still sucked big time. But it didn't matter anymore. Its as if i am the only person in the world!

Soon, i stopped caring about babes and was dancing by myself. People stopped, gaped, laughed, stared, pointed fingers, whatever! I didn't care. And i Danced until my feet was huring and head was spinning.

After the night, lying in my bed and exhausted i thought that the mission was not accomplished but something good and memorable came out of it!