Friday, December 19, 2008

SANDEEPHISM

My favourite passtime involves me fantasizing about stuff i think i would like to do but in real life too timid to actually do it. To day is your lucky day! you are going to get a chance to peek into my fantasy world for a while.

    Today i saw a lady in my office wearing a burkha  on the top of her dress. Call it creepy coincidence, but today i also saw a sikh guy sporting a huge beard and a guy wearing overall blacks as he is in "ayyappa diksha".

   This is disturbing on many levels. 

Apparantly,not shaving ur beard is bad for the company and moral of the employees,but okay if your religion doesn't allow it. Similarly,wearing formal clothes is neccessary for professional environment,
but not if ur religion forbids it. Apparantly if our clients see this bearded guys and burkha women they will understand that they are simply following their religion. so no loss for company.

This is exactly the  kind of situation where my wicked mind will go gaga over various possibilities.

So i digged up some HR policy list in our company website and bingo! I found that Our company will give "Reasonable" exceptions to people regarding their dress code based on their religions.

There are two loose terms here. one is "reasonable" and another is, of course : "Religion" . I can to use them to my advantage. So i fantasized about talking my HR into giving me permsion to wear normal clothes and chappals to office. It will probably go like this:

Me: So, i understand that Our company is willing  to make reasonable exceptions to accomdate my religious beliefs.

HR : Yes, we do.

Me: kool. Because my religion doesn't allow me to wear shoes. god will make me rot in hell if i hide my feet from fellow human beings.

HR: (probably confused): I never heard of that before.  What religion is that??

Me: (casually): Oh, i don't have a name for it. but i am thinking along the lines of sandeephism.
do u like it??

HR: Are you saying that u founded ur own religion??

Me: yup,I don't see why i should follow other religions  which are thousands of year old and obviously outdated. My religion is kooler and trendier.

HR: (shocked)


Me: Of course, for now, its a lonely religion, but i am hoping to convince my parents and my brother to join it.


HR: Um, i am afraid we don't recognize...

Me: (angrily) What? Are you insulting my religion? Are you insulting my god's ways?? I am gonna complain to the regional HR head that you are showing discrimination against my religion..

HR: (aghast): But That rule in ur religion is wierd...

Me: Hey, if sikhs can believe that they are not supposed to display their hair, why can't i believe that i am not supposed to NOT display my feet?? Thats it. I am escalating it to....

HR: okay, okay, U may wear chappals to work.

Me: Good, now according to my religion, I am only supposed to wear round neck T shirts with funny captions.... 

   I hope you got the hang of what i was hoping to achieve here. But alas, I am too timid to actually go and talk to my HR, So i fantasize and write blog entries about it. But hey, thats cool too....


QUESTION: Assuming i convinced ur HR that followers of my religion need not wear shoes and ties and formals, will you convert to sandeephism and proclaim me as ur prophet??