GAY MOON

One of my many weird hobbies is to search the net for pathetically dumb movies and read their reviews. Because, you know, few things give me more pleasure than watching other people going down. The very idea that hundreds of people worked for months to create that sh*t gives me a high. In my minds eye, while i read those reviews,I go all MUHAHAHAHA in the faces of the crew.

Yes, i am Evil.

So, I was very eagerly waiting for the movie which i was sure is gonna satiate my psychotic appetite:THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON.

And it didn't disappoint me. Reviews unanimously panned it."The best worst movie ever!" said one. "The most atrocious,awkward and embarrassing movie of the year!" proclaimed another "Today, I realised that our generation will be remembered as people who loved sparkly vampires.FML" is a recent FML at fmylife.com.(On a related note, you should check that website. It increases your will to live in this creepy world). But the best of them is this article i read in times of India. The success of this franchise is nothing short of global crisis.

BUT...how do i know this is gonna be a disaster??

I have a secret... * imagine akshay in Tasvir *

I've read twilight!

There... I've said it. My popularity index will be taking a nosedive.... from zero to negatives!

In my defense, i have been conned by a female friend of mine, who said it was irresistible, and she finished the whole book in one go,skipping lunch and dinner.

"Wow..." I thought! "Must be good...."

Let me put it this way. It is beyond my comprehension how anybody with a strand of Y chromosome or an ounce of testosterone in their body can remotely like this book(or movie)!

Full of Cheesy romance, Corny dialog and paper board characters, this movie is a classic gay index. I mean, "I love twilight" can be a clandestine code word for gays. It may probably work like this:

Gay guy: (walks up to another guy) I love Twilight!

Other guy:(Cringes on hearing the name) Duuuuuuuuuuuude! Wats wrong with you??

Gay guy: kbye!

OR

Gay guy: (Walks up to another guy) So i was watching Twilight the other day....

other guy: Ohmygod.... I ABSOLUTELY love it!

Gay guy: Score!

It can be used to lessen the impact when you are coming out of closet infront of your family.

Mom,dad! I need something to tell you. I am..... I am a Twilight fan!

Parents: *GAASP!* * horror!*

And, guys, you can thank me for giving this fantastic advice, You can use Twilight as the ultimate break up tool.

So....Sweetums! I have booked tickets for the new Twilight movie on first day,first show.Later we can rent "Mamma Mia" home and have a blast! *

You dont need to break up with her, SHE will break up with you, and you can act all used up and

deceived, tell this story (omitting the twilight part, ofcourse) to another chick, Score again!

* Again,based on a true FML

To conclude:

If you are a guy, There, I just saved two hours of your life. Go watch some buildings blow up and bad guys get their ass kicked by bruce willis instead!

If you are a girl, You might probably hate me for being such an gender stereoptypic person. But let us be honest here, The odds of you chiggy-wiggying with me are nanoscopical, So allow me to quote Rhett butler and say :

"Frankly, dear, I don't give a damn!"