Taxing the happy

It was the wee hours of the morning. I was sitting on the outer edge of the amphi theatre, with a drink in hand and an eternal sullen expression on face. Around me are hundred odd happy souls, dancing to the tunes of latest bollywood and tacky 90's american rock. It was another one of those B school parties.

A mild depression engulfed my sensesas I watched these people. I said to the guy sitting next to me, " Look at them. Look at their smile, their awkward yet unselfcouncious dancing. I don't understand why they are so happy. Or how they can be so happy!"

The guy smiled and replied, " What! You think they are happy?"

"Well. They look happy happy to me...."

"The truth is" he said, " They are all dancing and singing just because they are expected to do so in a party. Nobody here actually have a clue what they are doing or why they are doing it. Look over there..." he pointed to a group of people shaking their heads in a frenzy. "Those morons are head banging to 'Emotional Attyachar'! The only reason they look happy to you is that they are conditioned to look so".

"So, what you are saying is that.... they are just pretending to be happy?"

"Not consciously, but yes.".

We sat there silently for few moments. Then I had that epiphany.

"Happiness should be taxed", I said.

He looked at me questioningly.

"It makes complete sense". I was suddenly excited.(Disclosure: I was mildly high.) " You see what is happening here? Those idiots are pretending to be happy just because society expects them to be. And looking at those phonies, chronic sourpusses like me are slipping into an even deeper states of depression, thinking that we are the only unfortunate souls. This must be stopped. And taxing the happiness is the only way."

He didn't say anything. I eagerly continued to support my case. " You see, if we tax the happiness, people will stop pretending to be happy. And if they are really happy, why should they get it for free? after all, it's also a kind of wealth, isn't it?"

"Okay, Mr. Adam Smith" he said "But don't you realize what will happen when we tax happiness? People will go out of their way to show the world that they are not happy. Just like they are doing the opposite now. Even people who are happy will pretend to be unhappy and submit fake receipts of depression pills as a proof"

" I can live with that." I mumured "Happiness is just an aberration from the equilibrium anyway. A glitch in the matrix......"