FLASHBACKS OF A FOOL

I don't know if things that happened two days ago count as "Flashback". The fact is i am too lazy to think a original title for the post and being  an  indian,I assumed it is my birthright to copy stuff and call it "Inspiration".However it is only coincidence that this is second time i got inspired from this Daniel craig's films.(the first one is my blog title,if u are autistic enough to not to observe,by the way).

  Any how, This post is my recollection of my first flying experience, and be assured that i will 

cleverly insert all the copied stuff in between and pass it off as my own. Oh, and of course, I will 

pathetically try to be witty,funny,and whatever things popular humorists sound like(My vocabulary leaves much to be desired).

 To be honest,NO frill airlines are under rated. Based on what i've read in books and heard from others i expected to travel in somekind of Metal box with stools  for seats. And i expected the air hostesses to look like my college mates ( I thought i would write my classmates, then i figured i can reduce the probability of getting my self killed by atleast 10 times by replacing the word "class" with "college"!)

 But may be i jumped ahead a little bit. Let me start over. Apparantly, i've got "first time flier" 

written all over my face.So a spice jet worker came to me and assisted me in everyway possible. right from,scanning of baggage to sending me through security,he took care. Then i went to the terminal and sticked my face to the glass and watched all the airplanes on the outside with my tongue hanging out from my mouth. I don't remember if i was drooling,but i can't rule out the possibility!

  when the call for boarding was announced, all the passengers started rushing towards the boarding gate,as if the seats were unreserved and they have to stand if they were late! Hmm,In india somethings never change!

 The airhostess is saying "Good evening" to every moron in her way,so there's nothing special in 

that.However, I got the seat beside a frickin' idiot.I call him that partly because i wanted to use the word frickin' somwhere in the post,It sounds cool;but partly because i saw him at the boarding pass issue counter.He demanded the he should be getting  a seat at the emergency window!After he got it, he exclaimed with air of truimph

       "U never know what will happen once we are in air".

  Then the airhostess stood before me and explained to the passengers how they should escape in the event of a catastrophe.Apparantly we are supposed to pull a life jocket beneath the seat,take the oxygen mask from the top,open the emergency exit from the side and do a lot of other stuff within seconds. dying sounded a lot more easier. Any way, frankly i was not paying much attention to what she was saying. It took every ounce of my will power to stop myself from ogling at her sexy legs.

They were 10 inches from my eyes,for Satan's sake!

 To divert myself from her legs, i started imagining how it would be to die in this plane.Strangely the thought of dying in a plane crash didn't bother me much.I mean, its so much better than dying in a roadkill. I can almost imagine a conversation between my soul and some other souls at the gates of hell (in case u are wondering, Yes! i am going to hell,if there is one.) chit chatting about how we died.

It will go something like this.

soul 1: I drenched in rain, caught pneumonia and died

soul 2: I slipped in my bathroom, hit the sink hard and bang, i am here

Soul 3: I went to a party with a girl and ram sena activists have beatn me to death.

My soul: (casually) OH... it was nothing u know. My plane caught fire in mid air, There was a big hole formed. I was sucked out of the plane, I got hold of one of the wings,but then the wing itself came off, 

then in the mid air, i was hit by another plane. the last thing i saw was that another plane also 

bursting into flames!

soul 4: SO... u WERE THE MYSTERIOUS OBJECT THAT CRASHED MY PLANE!

ALL OTHER SOULS(to me): Damn U, thats a cool way to die!!

  Imagination over. Back to reality. But reality is very boring.Nothing significant happened. I opened my 700 page book -The hitchhikers' guide to galaxy and read it untill the plane landed. then i got off...

Epilogue:

 The next day, In the interview ( i went to delhi for an interview,by the way) 

a girl asked me

" Weren't u in the spice jet plane yesterday?"

I was shocked that i was actually noticed.I half expected her to ask why i was ogling at the airhostess' legs.

 But she asked," Weren't u the one who was reading that 10 pound book??"

Oh. It was the book then."Yes" i sheepishly said.

"did u barrowed it or bought it?" she asked.

I interpreted the question like this,

 "If u borrowed it, U are a fool, god forbid, If u actually bought it,U were a stupid Moronic fool!"

 for a moment i thought I would say that i borrowed it from the fricking guy next to me, but then i realized that she might have seen me walking down the ramp of the aiplane reading the book.So i stuck to the truth.

"I bought it" i said.

She rolled her eyes and went away.

"Score!" I said to myself and made a note to myself to write about this in my blog.